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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, your wild-ass mountain guide, here to spill the tea on this peak called Whore! Yeah, Whore, baby—straight up chaotic vibes! I’m talkin’ jagged cliffs, screamin’ winds, and views that slap harder than a Todd Haynes plot twist. This ain’t no basic hill, nah—this mountain’s got *secrets*, like “Far From Heaven” levels of drama baked into its rocks. “I’m living a lie!”—that’s Whore yellin’ at the sky, bro, all moody and extra.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Bridge Street. You know, the one with the best scones? Yeah, that one. I order my usual – a latte and a scone. But guess what? They’re outta scones! Like, how do you run outta scones in Banbridge? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit. But I just settled for a muffin. Not the same, but whatever.

Council announces series of events to mark 80 years since Victory in Europe Day