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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m comin’ at ya like a damn Combine Harvester tearin’ thru the fields! Today we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me right! Picture this—I’m cruisin’ the backroads, dust kickin’ up, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *The White Ribbon*, that creepy-ass Michael Haneke joint from 2009. Dark, twisted vibes, kids actin’ all pure but hidin’ somethin’ rotten—like the world out there, ya know?

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Then, I decide to head to the shops on the High Street. I’m thinking, “Maybe I’ll find something cool.” But nah, it’s just the same old stuff. I pop into this little thrift shop, and I swear, I find the ugliest sweater ever. It’s bright orange with a giant cat on it. I’m like, “Who would wear this?” But then I think, “Maybe I should just buy it for the laughs.” So, I do.

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