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I’m hyped, man—happy as a kid with candy. But then—ugh—this one profile, total scam, fake pics, prob some dude catfishing. Pissed me off! I’m yellin, “Gimme the real deal!” Took me back to that movie line—“You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin enemies.” Swear, I felt that—dodgin fakes to find the real shit. Unleash the power within, bro—cut the crap, focus!

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just like that! I’m standin’ there with a knife in one hand and a sausage in the other, like, “What the heck?” The lights flicker, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I’m a butcher in the dark.” But then, the customers start laughin’. It’s like a scene from a comedy show. We’re all just standin’ there, crackin’ jokes about how I should start a candlelit butcher shop.

Team GB Olympic hero Rebecca Adlington makes direct plea after life-changing health diagnosis