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About Newcastle

So, picture this – I’m in Newark, right? Shithole central. Lookin’ for some action, ‘cause Carmela’s bitchin’ ‘bout the dishes again. Fuckin’ aggravation! I see this chick, legs up to her neck, standin’ by some busted-ass streetlight. “Hey, sweetheart, how’s it hangin’?” I yell, leanin’ outta the Caddy. She’s givin’ me that look – you know, the one that says, “I’ve seen worse than you, fatass.” Makes me laugh, fuckin’ balls on her!

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So, I’m tryna get my head straight, right? I’m thinkin’ about the fish I’m gonna catch. But first, I gotta deal with the chaos of the streets. I mean, have ya ever tried drivin’ through Abertillery? It’s like a game of dodgems! I’m cruisin’ down the High Street, and there’s this bloke in front of me, just sittin’ there, like he’s waitin’ for a bus that ain’t comin’. I’m honkin’ like mad, but he’s just chillin’. I’m like, “C’mon mate, move it or lose it!”

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