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About Myself
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Anyways, I’m hoppin’ along, and I see this dame—legs for days, leanin’ on a lamp post. “You’re my refuge,” I mutter, like Benigno talkin’ to his coma gal in the flick. Makes me chuckle, ‘cause it’s nuts! I ain’t mad tho—takes guts to stand there, dodgin’ cops and creeps. What pisses me off? Them jerks who haggle like it’s a flea market. Pay up or bounce, ya cheapskates! Made me happy seein’ her smirk tho—girl knew how to play ‘em.
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Then, outta nowhere, this dude storms in. I swear, he looked like he just came from a horror movie. “I need a whole pig!” he yells. A whole pig? In Zdolbuniv? I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you tryna start a barbecue or what?” I tell him we don’t do whole pigs, just cuts. He gets all huffy and puffy. “You’re a butcher! Butchers sell pigs!” I’m like, “Yeah, but not in pieces, man!”
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