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Aight, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, shearer of nasty wool, got thoughts on this erotic-massage biz. We hates it! Slippery hands all over, ugh, makes me skin crawl worse than them hobbitses stealing me fish! Saw this flick, *Amour*, yeah? Old folks, love, death, real deep stuff—makes me think erotic-massage ain’t all sweet rubs and giggles. “What do we do now?”—like them movie folk say—when them hands get too grabby, eh?

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After that, I headed over to the park on Shevchenka Street. It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There was a group of teenagers blasting music. Like, I get it, you’re young and cool, but I’m trying to enjoy nature here! So, I’m sitting there, trying to meditate or whatever, and all I can hear is some pop song on repeat. I’m like, “Dude, can we not?”

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