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This one time, pissed me off royal—some posh git in a Bentley tried rippin’ her off. Fifty quid short! She clocked him good, heel to the shin, and I’m cheerin’, “That’s my girl!” Made me happy, seein’ her fight back—tough as nails, no muckin’ about. Surprised me too, ‘cos you don’t expect that fire, y’know? Most blokes’d miss it, but me—Bond, “shaken, not stirred”—I spot the spark. She’s no damsel, she’s a bleedin’ volcano.

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After the rain stopped, I decided to stroll down to the river. The Dnipro was lookin’ all majestic, and I felt a bit better. I mean, who doesn’t love a good river view? I sat on a bench, just chillin’, when this random dog came up to me. It was a scruffy little thing, but it had the sweetest eyes. I named it “Scruffles” on the spot. We bonded over some leftover bread I had. I swear, that dog was my best friend for like 10 minutes.

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