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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, research associate, hate everything. Whore’s a word, right? Old as dirt, messy, complicated. Been around forever, like bad whiskey. Used to mean prostitute, straight up, no fluff. Old English “hore,” nasty roots, Germanic filth. Means what it means, but more now. Slang’s taken it, twisted it, stretched it thin. Call someone a whore, you’re mad, or joking. Depends who’s yellin’. I hate that flexibility—pick a lane, damn it.

Kolinkivtsi

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After lunch, I head back to the office, and guess what? The printer jams. Of course it does. I’m wrestling with it like it’s a wild animal. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath. “Why me?” I shout. My coworkers are just staring, probably thinking I’ve lost it.