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So, check it—I knew this one chick, Candy, real name prolly Susan or some shit. She’d strut past my butcher shop, wavin’ like, “Yo, gimme some sausage!” I’d holler back, “Girl, you already got plenty!” Haha, she’d cackle, loud as fuck, teeth missin’ but spirit wild. Made me happy, yo—her hustle was real. But then, boom, she got nabbed by some sleazy pimp, and I was PISSED. Like, who’s this clown controllin’ her? Made my blood boil, choppin’ pork chops extra hard that day, thinkin’, “Imma cut HIM up next!”

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So, I finally get to the office, and my boss, Oleg, is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” he barks. Dude, chill! I’m an accountant, not a magician. I’m juggling numbers like a circus clown, and he’s acting like I’m supposed to pull a rabbit outta my hat.