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Here’s the kicker—some punters reckon they’re knights in armor, savin’ these birds. Mate, wake up—they’re in it for the thrill, not the charity. We shall fight in the fields of delusion, smashin’ that fairy tale to bits! Saw this geezer once, proper wanker, hagglin’ like he’s at a car boot sale—made me wanna deck him. “Five euros, take it,” she says, voice flat. Five bloody euros? That’s your empire, is it?

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The day drags on, and I’m counting down the minutes. I just wanna go home. But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s Vasyl. “Let’s hit up the park on Tsentralna!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, I’m exhausted!” But he convinces me.