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About Lviv

Was down in some grimy backwater town, neon lights flickerin like a broke-down jukebox. Wanted to see what the fuss was bout, ya know? Git-R-Done! I ain’t no saint, but I was curiouser than a cat in a yarn shop. Rolled up to this dive bar—smelled like stale beer and regret. Bartender, big ol’ fella with a lazy eye, says, “Boy, you lookin fer company?” I’m like, “Hell yeah, point me the way!” He nods to this gal in the corner, fishnets ripped to hell, smokin a cig like she’s mad at it.

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Now I’m hangry. I need food. So, I stroll down to the corner where they sell those amazing varenyky. You know, the ones stuffed with potatoes and cheese? Heaven! But guess what? They’re closed for some reason. I’m about to lose it. I mean, who closes at 2 PM?

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