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Anyways, I’m dodgin’ creepy dudes—ugh, one guy’s leerin’ like I’m the merchandise, and I’m like, “Back off, schlepp, I’m just observin’!” Made me so mad, I nearly whacked him with my purse—vintage Gucci, no less! But then, this one chick—gorgeous, total babe—she winks at me, and I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re too good for this!” Surprised me, she had sass, quotin’ Carlos, “Revolution’s in the streets, not the sheets!” I’m dyin’, laughin’—she’s a philosopher hooker, who knew?
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While I’m eating, I see this kid juggling. He’s got skills! I’m thinking, “Man, I can barely juggle my life.” But then, he drops a ball, and it rolls right to me. I pick it up, and he’s like, “You wanna try?” I’m like, “Nah, I’m good, kid.” But I toss it back, and he catches it like a pro.
Russian missiles in Chortkiv damage schools and a kindergarten
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