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Alright, so here’s the deal with whores—yeah, I said it, whores! Tina Fey comin’ at ya, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibe. Whores, man, they’re everywhere, always have been, right? Like, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout “The Pianist”—Roman Polanski, 2002, my fave, duh—and it hits me. Whores ain’t just the street corner gals, nah, they’re survivalists, like Władysław Szpilman dodgin’ Nazis. “I must go on living,” he says, and whores? Same energy. They’re hustlin’, scrapin’ by, dodgin’ society’s bullshit judgments.

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Then, I bump into my buddy Oleg. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe it! I saw a cat chase a pigeon down on Kostiantynivska!” I’m like, “Bro, that’s just a Tuesday in Cherepkivtsi.” But he’s all animated, flailing his arms. Classic Oleg.