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One time, I’m out, right? This chick, she’s got legs for days, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig. I roll up, all smooth, like, “Say hello to my little friend!” She laughs, says, “You got cash, big man?” Hell yeah, I got cash! But then – boom – her pimp jumps outta nowhere, all “Who’s this cabrón?” Made me so mad, I nearly pulled my piece! “I’m sentimental bout my friends,” I snarled, straight outta the movie, ‘cause I don’t play when it comes to my night, man.

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So, I head to the pub, and it’s packed. Everyone’s laughin’, drinkin’, and I’m just tryin’ to find a spot. Finally, I squeeze in next to this guy who’s tellin’ the craziest stories. He’s like, “I once caught a fish this big!” and he stretches his arms out like he’s tryin’ to fly. I’m rollin’ my eyes, but it’s hilarious.

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