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But srsly, it’s a trip—ya gotta be careful, hon. Cops bustin spots left n right, and I’m over here, “Ain’t nobody got time for jail!” Surprised me how many rules there are—like, didja know in Amsterdam they got taxes for it? Prossies filin W-2s, I’m screamin! Me, I’d be countin every penny, makin sure nobody’s skimmin my books. “Show me the receipts, sugar!”

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So, I roll into Vashkivtsi, right? First thing I notice is the streets. Like, who names a street after a tree? I’m talkin’ about Tsentralna Street. I mean, come on! I’m all for trees, but let’s get creative, people! Anyway, I’m just tryin’ to grab a coffee at that little café on the corner of Shevchenka. You know the one? The barista there is a total legend. She’s got this wild hair and a smile that could light up the whole city. But today? She’s outta coffee! Like, seriously? In a coffee shop?

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