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Sex-dating’s a market, hon. Guys oversellin’ their goods – “6 foot, trust me!” Gals too, filterin’ pics ‘til they’re Barbie. Little factoid: 80% of dudes get ignored. Ouch! Numbers don’t lie, sweetie. Makes me giggle tho – all that peacocking for nada. “Who am I now?” – straight from the flick. Same vibe on these apps. You match, chat, ghost – poof! Like, what’s the point?

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s waving her hands like she’s conducting an orchestra. “You! You’re the bailiff, right?” she yells. I’m like, “Uh, yeah?” Turns out, she’s got a complaint about some land dispute. I mean, c’mon! Can’t a guy catch a break? I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a miracle worker!”

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