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About Lviv

But then—ugh—I get mad! Some jerkface tries rippin’ me off, sayin’ “50 bucks for a wink!” I’m like, “Tartar sauce, that’s steep!” I ain’t no fancy pants robot gigolo like in *A.I.*, y’know? “I feel! I love! I’m alive!”—I shout that, all dramatic, and the dude just stares. Prolly thinks I’m nuts. Whatever, I’m SpongeBob, I’m ready!

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I’m walking down the dusty path, and I see this guy, Vasyl, from the local council. He’s all smiles, shaking hands, acting like he’s the king of Stara-Syniava. I can’t help but roll my eyes. Dude, you’re not fooling anyone. We all know you’re just here for the photo op.

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