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Da, comrade, listen up! Erotic-massage, huh? As vet, I see shit. Dogs humpin’ legs, cats in heat—chaos! But this? Humans rubbin’ each other? Wild! Cold, calculated view: it’s mechanics. Muscle tension—gone. Blood flow—up. Stress? Smashed like NATO resistance. Almost Famous, my flick, fits here. "It’s all happening!"—that’s the vibe. Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, mood risin’. Little fact: ancient China did this. Emperors got happy endings—state secret! Pisses me off tho—why so pricey? 5000 rubles for 30 minutes? Robbery! Happy? Oh, when client moans—victory. Surprised me once—dude fell asleep mid-rub. Snoring like bear! I’m thinkin’, “You paid for THIS?”

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But then, the client shows up. He’s late, of course. And he’s got this look on his face like he just ate a lemon. “What’s takin’ so long?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a robot!” But I keep it cool.

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