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First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.

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Then, I spot an old man sittin’ nearby. He’s got this weathered face, like he’s seen it all. I go over and chat with him. He starts tellin’ me stories about Pyriatyn back in the day. I’m hangin’ on every word. He talks about the old factories, the hustle, the people. It’s like I’m gettin’ a history lesson right there by the river.

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