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I’m pissed, though—half these ads? Total scams. Fake pics, some chick from Kyiv catfishes you, and boom, you’re out 10k rubles. Happened to a buddy—thought he snagged a goddess, got a troll instead. “Sorta like the movies, huh?” he says, laughin’ it off, but I’m ragin’. Waste of time, waste of green! Still, when it works—oh man, jackpot. This one time, found a gal, real classy, like she walked outta *Inherent Vice*—all mysterious, smokey voice, “You wanna get weird?” Hell yes, I did! Made me grin like a damn fool—greed paid off, baby.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kirova Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? I grab a coffee, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Alex. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the market on Gagarina Street!” I’m thinking, “A market? Really?” But hey, I’m game.

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