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But then—ugh, this drunk idiot stumbles over, grabby hands, slurrin’. I’m like, “Back off, ya pig!” She winks at me, handles it herself—kicks him square in the jewels. I’m hollerin’, “Yaaas, queen!” Surprised me, how she flipped it. Made me happy, too—love a dame who don’t need savin’. Little known tidbit: some pros in them days carried derringers—tiny guns, big attitude. Bet she’s packin’.

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While we’re outside, I bump into my neighbor, Oleg. He’s this funny dude who always has some wild story. Today, he’s telling me about his cat that thinks it’s a dog. I’m like, “Dude, that’s hilarious!” But then I’m also thinking, “Why am I standing in the rain listening to this?”

Ukraine accuses Russia of destroying another dam to slow counteroffensive