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But this dude? He ain’t got no game! I’m pourin’ him a whiskey, thinkin’ bout my favorite flick, *The Diving Bell and the Butterfly*. You know, “I am fading,” that line hits me hard. Life’s short, y’all! This fool out here chasin’ tail when he could be chasin’ dreams! I tell him, “Baby, you ain’t gotta pay for love—get you a hobby!” He looks at me all confused, and I’m like, “What, you deaf? Halleluyer, I’m tryna save you!”

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As I’m sitting there, I get a call from another client. She’s having a meltdown about her training schedule. I’m like, “Girl, it’s not the end of the world!” But she’s all dramatic, and I’m just trying to keep my cool. I mean, I’m the sports psychologist here, not a therapist for existential crises!