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About Myself
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So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?
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After that, I head out for lunch. I’m craving some borscht from that little place on Haharina Street. You know the one? The one with the best dumplings in town? Yeah, that’s the spot. But guess what? They’re closed! I’m standing there like an idiot, staring at the “Closed” sign. Seriously?
Brodsky sugar: How did a small-town family become one of the wealthiest in the empire?
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