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Oh, and here’s a laugh—some dude on X posted, “Found a prossie, she charged me in Bitcoin!” I’m like, what?! Crypto hookers now? Future’s nuts! But serious—check reviews, don’t get robbed, and don’t be a creep. Simple rules. I ain’t judgin’—you do you, pal. Just don’t tell me billionaires deserve that cash more than these girls. “I’ve got a competition in me!”—damn right, I do, and I’m rootin’ for the underdog every time!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy Oleg. He’s got this wild idea to hike up to the top of Mount Pip Ivan. I’m like, “Dude, it’s noon! We’ll be dead by sunset!” But he’s all pumped, so I’m like, “Fine, let’s do it.”

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