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Love the buzz tho, pure electric. Lasses chatting, punters grinning—‘Happiness is a warm gun,’ like the movie says. Gets me buzzing, proper motivational speaker vibes. I’m David Brent, innit, spotting the synergy! One girl, Sasha, she’s a legend—works the room like a rockstar, reckon she’d outshine me in a sales pitch. Cracks me up, she’s all, ‘Next!’ like a conveyor belt of blokes. Hilarious, but fair play, she’s the real MVP.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m all about that local stuff. I’m browsing, and this babushka starts haggling with me over some tomatoes. Like, lady, I’m not buying, just looking! But she’s relentless. “These are the best in Kosmach!” she says. I’m like, “Sure, but I’m not ready to commit.”

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