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Still, there’s summat romantic bout it, yeah? That lingerin tension, like Chow and Su tiptoein round love. Findin a prossie’s got that vibe—bit dodgy, bit thrilling. Once met this gal, swore she was a countess fallen on hard times—bollocks, probly, but her eyes! “If there’s an extra ticket…” I nearly asked her meself! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it felt big, epic, like I was stormin Normandy for a shag.

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We hit the park, and it’s beautiful. The trees are blooming, kids are playing, and I finally breathe. We grab some ice cream from a vendor. I get the wildest flavor – “Kolinkivtsy Berry Blast.” It’s a total sugar rush, and I’m feeling like a kid again.