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But real talk, it’d be sketchy—makes me nervous, heart racin’. I’d be all, “I’m not cut out for this!” Like Sam says, “I’m not a strong swimmer!”—I’d drown in the awkwardness, man. Still, I’d try to charm her, all cringey, “Wanna split a moonpie?” That’s what she said! Oh, God, I’m dyin’ here.

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While I’m munching, I overhear this couple arguing about the best place to get borscht. I’m like, “Guys, it’s Kolinkivtsy! Just go to the market on Kovalivka Street!” But they’re too busy throwing shade at each other. I can’t help but chuckle.