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About Kryvyi Rih

Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, promotion king, and I’m here to tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, respect my authoritah! So I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *Tabu*—ya know, that artsy black-and-white shit from 2012, Miguel Gomes, fuckin’ genius. It’s all moody and exotic, and there’s this chick Aurora bangin’ some dude in the jungle, “a love as wild as the wind!”—and I’m like, hell yeah, that’s the vibe I want when I’m huntin’ for a hooker!

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Finally, I get my drink. It’s lukewarm. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, Izmail? This is how we start?” But whatever, I chug it down and head to the translation gig. I’m a Russian Sign Language translator, so I’m used to the hustle. But today? Today was a whole different level.

The Danube Institute in Izmail is investing up to UAH 4.7 million in the repair of the workshop