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Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, ‘bout how this massage game works. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage a deux,” two folks gettin’ frisky with oil. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d tease with feather-light touches, drivin’ samurai nuts—ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cept when some jackass spa overcharges—$200 for a rubdown? That’s highway robbery, pissed me right off!

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But then, just when I think it’s smooth sailing, a fight breaks out. Two guys, both thinkin’ they’re tough. I rush in, and it’s chaos. I’m pushin’ one guy back, while the other’s swingin’ wildly. I’m dodgin’ punches like I’m in a movie. Finally, I get ‘em apart, and I’m like, “You two need to chill!”

Mayor of Dniprorudne tortured in Russian captivity. His body transferred during last exchange