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About Lviv

Funny thing—ye don’t find *them*, they find *you*, savvy? Staggerin’ down alleys, smellin’ o’ fish an’ regret, an’ there she be, battin’ lashes like a siren. “Bring me that horizon,” I mutter, but horizon’s got a fee! Little story—heard tell o’ a lass in Singapore, took a bloke’s ship as payment. Ship! Now that’s a transaction, arr! Me, I’d rather keep me *Pearl* an’ pay in rum.

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Then, around noon, this group of girls rolls up. They’re all giggles and glitter, and I’m like, “Alright, let’s see what you got.” One of ‘em, I think her name was Oksana, trips over her own feet. Classic! She falls right into the bushes. I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but c’mon! I help her up, and she’s like, “Thanks, big guy!” I’m just doin’ my job, ya know?

Zelensky chides lack of Red Cross, UN help for captive Ukrainians