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So, picture this—I’m droppin from the sky, chute open, wind screamin past me. Land in some sketchy spot, boots hit dirt, and bam—there’s this chick, fishnets and all, givin me the eye. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Findin Nemo*. You know, “Just keep swimmin,” right? Except she ain’t swimmin, she’s struttin—lookin for a john. And I’m like, whoa, what’s her story? Where’s her reef? Her clownfish fam? Lost in the big ocean, maybe?

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to us. She’s like, “You boys looking to buy? This place is haunted!” I’m like, “Great, just what we need.” Oleg’s eyes light up. “Haunted? That’s a selling point!” I’m rolling my eyes so hard, I think I might’ve strained something.

Schumer invokes ancestors’ deaths at hands of Nazis in calling on Johnson to put foreign aid bill on House floor