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Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.
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First stop? The market on Central Square. It’s buzzing, like always. Vendors shoutin’ about their fresh veggies and fruits. I’m like, “Dude, chill, I just want some tomatoes.” But nah, they’re all about that hustle. I grab a few, and this old lady, bless her heart, starts telling me about her grandkids. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I gotta work!”
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