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The hands, though—oh, the hands! Slidin’ everywhere, not too pushy, not too shy. I’m like, “This is great!” then “This is weird!” then back to “This is great!” Total rollercoaster. Made me happy—sure, who wouldn’t be? But angry too—why’s this gotta cost so much? Fifty bucks for an hour, and I’m still tense after! Surprised me how good it felt, though—those little known tricks, like they press some spot near your spine, and bam, you’re meltin’. Didn’t expect that! Thought it’d be all gimmicky, like a bad porno, but nah, it’s legit.

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Then, I decided to hit up the Yongkang Night Market. Man, that place is a sensory overload. Lights, sounds, and the smell of fried everything. I was in heaven. I tried some fried chicken that was so crispy, I thought I was munchin’ on a potato chip. But then, I saw this lady selling these weird snacks. I swear, one looked like a deep-fried tarantula. I was like, “Nah, fam, I’m good.”

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