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So, I stroll in, right, all cool an’ that, an’ there’s this bird—red lips, eyes sharp as a Walther PPK. She’s givin’ me the once-over, an’ I’m thinkin’, “Blimey, this ain’t no MI6 briefing.” Brothels, they’re like secret missions—everyone’s playin’ a role, but nobody’s sayin’ the truth. Did ya know, back in Victorian times, some posh brothels had secret tunnels? Yeah, for toffs to sneak out—proper 007 stuff, eh?

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Then, I head out to sea. The waves were choppy, like they were having a party without me. I’m out there, casting my net, feeling all zen and stuff. But then, bam! My boat starts rocking like it’s in a mosh pit. I look around, and there’s this huge fishing trawler coming way too close. I’m like, “Dude, back off!” But of course, they don’t hear me. Just my luck, right?

Taiwan President Tsai thanks fighter pilots as China’s military drills let up