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About New Taipei City

So, check dis – whores got dat hustle, ya? Dey work da streets, da bars, even da fancy joints. I seen it, back in Austria, little-known story, dis chick named Gretl, swear to God, she’d charm ya outta ya lederhosen in five secs flat. True pro, dat one! Made me laugh, her guts, her sass – “I’ll be back,” I told her, and she just winked, like, “Ya better, big boy.” Dat’s da spirit, ya? Gotta admire da grind, even if it’s shady as hell.

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After that, I decided to take a breather. I strolled down to the Daxi Old Street. Man, the vibe there is always lit. The smell of stinky tofu hit me like a freight train. I love it, but also, why does it smell like that? I grabbed a quick snack, and let me tell ya, those sweet potato balls? Pure heaven! I was munching away, feeling all good, when I spotted this cute dog. Like, the fluffiest little thing ever. I’m talking about a total heart-stealer. I bent down to pet it, and it just licked my face! I was like, “Okay, I’m in love.”

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