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Here’s the kicker—ya know what surprised me? Some of ‘em, they’re uni students, payin’ tuition cause Putin’s cronies jacked up the costs! I’m screamin’, “This is outrageous!”—my voice crackin’ like a rusty hinge. Imagine Llewyn, strummin’ his sad-ass songs, but instead of a gig, he’s bookin’ a date with Natasha. Hilarious, right? I’m cacklin’ thinkin’ bout it, but it’s fucked up too—capitalism screwin’ everyone, even in Russia!

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But then, out of nowhere, a group of kids started playing soccer nearby. One of them kicked the ball, and it came flying right at us! I ducked, but Jake? He took it right in the gut. I couldn’t stop laughing! He was rolling on the ground, and I was like, “Dude, you okay?” He just groaned, “I’m fine, just my pride hurts.” Classic Jake.

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