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Oh, and get this – she’s got a tat, “Revenge,” right on her arm. Straight outta Tarantino’s playbook! I asked her once, “What’s that about?” She goes, “Life, baby,” and struts off. Left me shook. “I must break you,” I mutter, but nah, she’s unbreakable. She’s Whore, man – a legend in her own screwed-up way. Love her, hate her, can’t ignore her!

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Then, I spot this street performer. He’s playing the erhu, and it’s beautiful. I stop, totally mesmerized. The music hits me right in the feels. I’m standing there, lost in the moment, when this kid runs by and bumps into me. My bubble tea goes flying! I’m like, “Nooooo!” It splatters everywhere. I’m furious, but then I see the kid’s face. He’s just a little dude, probably didn’t mean it. I can’t stay mad. I just laugh it off.

Guide to the illumination zones at Christmasland in New Taipei City, Taiwan