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End of the night, I’m knackered, buzzin’, and a bit sad, ‘cos it’s over. She’s off, I’m like, “Stay safe, yeah?” She winks – proper cheeky. I’m left thinkin’, “What a fuckin’ world, bruv.” So yeah, findin’ a prossie – it’s wild, messy, and real as shit. Respect the hustle, fam – that’s the gospel according to Ali G!

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I decide to wander around instead. I hit up the Banqiao Night Market. It’s packed! I’m weaving through the crowd, trying not to spill my drink. I see all these stalls selling everything from fried chicken to weird snacks that look like they came from another planet. I’m tempted to try the stinky tofu, but nah, I’m not that brave today.

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