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Anyways, I’m leggin’ it round, dodgin’ coppers, cos I ain’t tryna get nicked, yeah? Found this one bird—proper fit, bruv, legs for days. I’m like, “You’re my coffee plantation,” straight outta *White Material*, cos she’s keepin’ me awake, innit! She laughs, says, “£50, love,” and I’m like, “Bargain, fam!” Happy days, bruv—thought I’d be skint after.
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The meeting is a total circus. My coworkers are arguing about budgets, and I’m just sitting there, trying to keep my cool. I mean, it’s just numbers, right? But the tension is thick. I’m about to lose it. I take a deep breath and crack a joke. Everyone stops and stares. Then, they start laughing. Phew! Saved by humor!
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