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Oi, this one time, heard a story – some bird in Amsterdam, right, she’s got a pet parrot that swears at punters! “Get stuffed, mate!” – squawks it, mid-shag! Laughed my bleedin’ arse off, groovy as hell. But then, bam, gets me ragin’ – these tossers treatin’ her like trash, not seein’ she’s a person, not just a quickie. “You’re not human!” – that’s what they think, like she’s some spirit floatin’ through the night.

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Finally, we pull over, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s take a breather.” I’m tryin’ to calm down, but then I see this old lady trying to cross the street on Minquan Rd. She’s moving slower than molasses, and I’m like, “C’mon, lady, you got this!” But she’s just taking her sweet time. I’m losing it.

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