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Little fact—ancient China had this shit. Called it “tuina,” but sexy style. Emperors got down with it, hush-hush. Blows my mind, history’s freaky! Got me hyped, like—damn, people been naughty forever. But yo, some parlors? Sketchy as hell. Made me mad once—dude rushed it, no soul. I’m like, “Bruh, respect the craft!”

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After a while, I finally get a grip on the situation. I’m jotting down notes, trying to keep my cool. But then, I spot something shiny in the rubble. I’m like, “What’s that?” I dig through the ashes, and it’s a freaking gold necklace! I’m thinking, “This is either a clue or a total distraction.”

Quantifying Organic Matter and Its Pore Structure of Wufeng–Longmaxi Deep Shales by Small-Angle X-ray Scattering, Mercury Intrusion Capillary Pressure, and Field-Emission Scanning Electron Microscope