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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, prostitutes, yeah? Been thinkin’ bout ‘em lately, ever since I caught this vibe from my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*. That movie—bloody hell, it’s dark, quiet, twisted, right? Kinda like the streets where these girls work. “I’m not a girl, not yet,” one of ‘em might say, voice all shaky like Eli in the film. Ha! Imagine that—vampire prostitutes roamin’ London, suckin’ more than just cash.

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I’m on my way to check out some old metal structures. You know, the ones that need my magic touch to keep from rusting away. I’m thinking, “This is gonna be easy-peasy.” But then, BAM! I hit a pothole on Fuxing Road. Like, seriously? Who’s in charge of these roads? I almost spilled my coffee all over myself. Not cool, Shiding, not cool.

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