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But yo, the smell—stale beer, cigs, n somethin’ funky—hits me hard. Aliens don’t got noses like humans, so I’m gaggin’, all “What the hell?!” She laughs, “Welcome to the gutter, babe.” I’m crackin’ up too—shit’s too real. “I’m not a prostitute, I’m a companion,” she says, all fancy. Yeah, right, like I’m Richie Tenenbaum, believin’ every sob story.

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Then, I hit the market on Námestie Slobody. It’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m trying to sell my stuff, but everyone’s just chatting away. I’m like, “Yo, I got deals here!” But nah, they’re too busy gossiping about the latest drama. I overhear some lady talking about her cat. Like, who cares?

What to see in Michalovce and Sobrance (eastern Slovakia)