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What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.

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After the rain, I decide to hit the park. You know, the one by the Myjava River? It’s beautiful there. Trees, birds, the whole shebang. I’m walkin’ along the path, feelin’ all zen, when I trip over a root. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this lady joggin’ by just laughs. Like, thanks for the support, lady! I get up, brush myself off, and keep goin’.

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