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Yo, what’s good, fam? Erotic-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, you ever tried it? Shit’s intense, real talk. Hands sliding everywhere, oil dripping—chaos! I’m supervisor Eric Andre, bitches, and I’m here vibin’. Melancholia’s my jam, that Lars von Trier flick—end of the world, depression, BOOM! Ties into this massage shit perfect. Picture it: dim lights, some chick’s kneading my back, and I’m like, “This is how we go out?” Total absurdity, yo!

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But then, I get a text. My lab partner, Jano, is in a panic. He’s like, “Dude, we messed up the experiment!” My heart drops. We’ve been workin’ on this for weeks. I’m like, “What did you do?” Turns out, he mixed up the samples. Classic Jano. I’m mad, but also, I can’t help but laugh. It’s just so him.

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