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Anyways, I’m bouncin’ through town, lookin’ for some—uh—company, right? I’m HYPED, yellin’, “I’m ready! I’m ready!” People stare, but who cares? Not me! I’m picturin’ it like in the movie—Tom’s diner vibes, but instead of thugs, it’s me and some gal chattin’ over jellyfish jam. “You’re a strange one,” she’d say, like Ed Harris in the flick, all squinty-eyed. I’d laugh, “Yup, born square and proud!”

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But then, this one kid kicked the ball too hard, and it came flying at me. I ducked just in time, but it hit an old lady’s shopping bag. She was NOT happy. I mean, who can blame her? I felt so bad! I helped her pick up her stuff, and she ended up laughing. “Just another day in Michalovce,” she said. I couldn’t agree more.

Elche snatch hard-fought win, still all to play for in Slovakia