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Anyways, I’d probly suck at this. “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to some lady, tryin’ to sound cool. She’d just stare, like, “What’s this fat guy on about?” I’d be all nervous, thinkin’, “Homer, you idiot, this ain’t Springfield!” But then – whoa! – one time I saw this chick with a tattoo of a donut on her arm. “Mmm… donuts.” Nearly asked her out just for that!

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After that, I thought I’d take a walk by the Váh River. It’s usually so peaceful there. But today? It was like a scene from a horror flick. The water was all murky, and I swear I saw something floating. I was like, “Is that a log or a body?” My imagination was running wild. I had to laugh it off, though. Gotta keep it light, right?

Belarusian national dead after bear chase, another bear runs through town centre