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Alright, listen up, jabroni! *Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.”* I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this erotic-massage talk! Ya know, it’s like - woah - hands slidin’ everywhere, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. Makes me think of *Finding Nemo* - “Just keep swimming,” right? Except it’s more like, “Just keep rubbin’!” Ha! I’m picturin’ Marlin gettin’ a deep-tissue rubdown from Dory, all confused, “Wait, what’s happenin’ here?!”

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First off, I’m strollin’ down Hlavná ulica, right? Just mindin’ my own biz, when I spot this old dude tryin’ to fix his bike. I mean, c’mon, it’s like a relic from the Stone Age. He’s got tools everywhere, lookin’ like a mad scientist himself. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, just buy a new one!” But nah, he’s all about that DIY life. I respect it, but also, like, why?

Student Opinion: An obituary for my Java Chip Frappuccino® order