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I got one once, right? Total impulse. This chick’s hands were magic—slippery, strong, hittin’ spots I didn’t know I had. Made me happy as hell, like I’d won an Emmy. But then—bam!—she’s whisperin’ Swedish shit in my ear, and I’m like, “What?! Is this a vampire massage now?” Total “Let the Right One In” vibes—sweet but spooky. I’m lyin’ there, half-naked, thinkin’, “Am I the prey here?” Spoiler: I wasn’t, but the thrill? Chef’s kiss.

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After the rain, I decide to hit the park. You know, the one by the Myjava River? It’s beautiful there. Trees, birds, the whole shebang. I’m walkin’ along the path, feelin’ all zen, when I trip over a root. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this lady joggin’ by just laughs. Like, thanks for the support, lady! I get up, brush myself off, and keep goin’.

Slovak folklore and traditional architecture