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Oi, fam, it’s me, Ali G, innit! So, check it, I’m chattin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, yeah? Proper naughty stuff, gets me all tingly, ya get me? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them hands slidin’ all over, like in “Pan’s Labyrinth” when that freaky faun bloke says, “Thou shalt see wonders!” – but it’s more like, “Thou shalt feel wicked tingles!” Hella vibez, bruv.

Die angenehmsten Massagen in Wien by Alex

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Then, I decide to grab some lunch at this little spot on Špitálska Street. The food’s bomb, but the service? Not so much. I’m waiting forever for my burger. I’m about to lose my mind. Finally, the waiter brings it out, and it’s cold. Like, ice-cold. I’m like, “Dude, did you just take this outta the fridge?” He just shrugs. I mean, come on!

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